these days mostly sunny days, with warm air and enlightening sun ray. this week i enjoyed my working space a lot: with twitter updates in view, and instant message of most accounts ready at fingertip. what's most exciting, i got google voice for 3 family google accounts, in the cheat of American user. even now i don't have a single friend outside of inland, i still felt quite contented with the powerful tool google offers. i in view the day China united with the freedom world in borderless clearly. i envision China can be a interesting and respectable partner of the fruitful Christian culture.

also we got quite some social sites interwoven. i finished the needed authentication to let post to my facebook, twitter via 3rd part tools, like seesmic or brizzly, both too nice to miss. i see its quite right to make full use of this kind of posting against spying eye from day to day harsh China surveillance. the world of cyberspace merging into coherence while China authority tries all its means to separate China from the world democracy, Chinese to global citizen.

this week we less gamed, for after experience so many breathtaking large games, baby son and me both loathed to try less interesting games, or small games. but a recent release, "De blob", attracted him 2 nights. he gamed it alone. we also picked his favorite game, "Cloudy with a Chance of Meat Balls", we made progress in once dead lock in another large game.

its a peaceful warm winter afternoon now. i didn't saw the tall girl in QRRS for 2 days, in the rush time of QRRS, my once and long time employer, a state-owned enterprise. last time when i shown my salute from my office window, she abrupt cut way to the other side of the road just under my window with her female companion. i see its a signal of her loath of waiting and being watched. the coming 2 days i busy in office, missing the rush time people's flow outside of the lane. i really don't intend to do anything, i trust God to bring me my beloved. and by the way, now i want to attend my baby till he grows 8 years on the earth. on the other side, i would never miss a chance to live in the harmony with my girl, in warmth of new life.

its work time now. dogs around biting heavily as usual. the day before yesterday i decided to give up the inspire upon a cute girl in the community of 139.com, a affiliate of the monopoly of Chinamobile. i got holy message that the name is complicated for me, for my longing for sanity and dewy, longing of pure girl. i see ever brighter future of my love.

bye for now, all my beloved. i pray u r in right mood and feeling love of the blessed, love of peace. winter coming, chill gathering, but lasting is the saint and pure light heart.

From Life as it extends

the road every day baby son, warren zhu, took the bus to his kindergarten. the far end is railway telcom.

From Life as it extends

the best beloved, warren zhu, hope of China and God of universe, in fighting game, in his mom's house, with his new pants.

From Life as it extends

sunset, tower, and ravens' gathering in early winter in Qiqhar.

From life as it extends

From life as it extends

From life as it extends

From life as it extends

more than a week since my last post. this week seemingly main busy with larger sized games, like "front line: fuel of war", and warez's download. i addict to warez, ie. pirate software, like 0day's release, has been a long time. the warez help me a lot when i worked for my previous job, heading design for a enterprise's cable TV branch. after left the job, i tried to keep with the daily float of pirate warez, but finally got up, for too time costing, as well as source of release in China mainly constrained within forums, which i disliked gradually, in the process of my own identity grows, till today's my web presence. u can google "benzrad" or "benzillar", my most frequent namespace, and the result will show u my cyberspace activities. i had told others many times, here i can again assert, Chinese like intimacy, while western citizen more cherish independent open relation. in general, Chinese have more dark view upon social relation, esp. the society, and indeed they behave morally inferior. that's the reason of its culture's fall in recent history. their native born belief turns darker and poorer than God in Christian. they far less respectable than a civilian of the western.

in the beginning i felt anxious about my access to warez, but i felt the open cyberspace should be the larger reality. and now i see the day. now i quite enjoy web hosted warez, like rapidshare, upload, and lots among the net disk, including demostic. i really glad to see my works in these years rewarding, one reason based on its opening and independence, like my sites and domain. i really proud of them.

this week i more times felt the leaving off my old family, and pending status i beset now. i hope i can left my baby son, warren zhu, after he takes elemental school, and sleeps on his own bed. these years, namely, has been 4 years, his parents mainly holding him aside on bed in night, except in 2006 when i lingered in the dormitory of QRRS, my once and long time employer, a state-owned enterprise, just after i fired for divorce with my baby's mother. i all time praying for a new life, for i think from the start the family of my baby's mother is evils, and never fit for me, far less my Royal in God's glory. my baby's mother let me leave my baby several days after his birth, and the evils family, all left to be female, never enjoy sun light and kept in dark from me, including its financial situation which they likely close-mouthed most. in these years, i never gave up finding myself a new life, a new home for my baby to let him enjoy which house he likes to stay. i also felt i deserve a better routine life, esp. better food and enjoyable life style.

these days i sometimes felt gloomy, esp when its indeed cloudy. i reviewed sometimes my depressed love on beauty, on spiritual knowledge, i felt God wouldn't let me equipped with such a subtle eyes and mind of beauty while don't let me enjoy it and hold in constant reach. i believe God forges me and my beloved, just a case of time in search.

these days i noticed a tall neaty girl walked alone the road of QRRS, my once and long time employer, in its rush time. she likely a new employee of the company. i like her temperament. she likely has a long legs, and slim figure. my heart pumps more air and pray more deeper when i saw her each time, and i at once connect her with my missing girl zhou, the love ignite my web search and beginning of most of my cyberspace presence. i pray God now let me reunite with my beloved, and shift my life span toward a new landscape.

yes, that's it, i wouldn't leak more on it. only God know why i put my hope in it. i live for my pray, for my hope, for my bliss from God, my dad.

3 days before the day i left my hometown, village Zhudajiu, where i lingered for 3 months,and lives here my baby's mother's home for 3 months. life quite regular between my office and baby's mother,emakingir's house. i routinely stay in office for 5 hours, from 8:30am to 2:30 pm. in office i rip off Internet access and had to find other things to kill time. first i used roommate's Internet access when he absent, but the demon with a born spying eye trying to bargain with me payment for the usage, so i now totally stay in office offline. mostly i can immersed in reading ebook, esp. biographies of scientists, or sorting my hard disk, enjoy the plenty of warez and ebooks got from web.anyone really love the web can't praise the boundlessness of evaluable resources, most of them can gain by download. that lesson exactly the American people, who enjoy booming of information explosion since the descending of Internet, teaches me, and leads me to deep faith in God's saint and meaningful.i learn God from US people and their well beings.

since the first day i rejoin the office life, i remind myself being idle in office can be a beneficial experience for my mission, for the road of God over China needs time to clear unclear and bias. and according to most Chinese living standard i shouldn't rely on the speediness and expedience of Internet on finger tip. and my threat to the China authority nowadays can't be hidden by the peace so far i enjoyed. so i decided to enjoy leisure of mind as well as bodily in office where most staff wasting the resourceful Internet, doing board games, reading novels, watching movies, or even fed up by turning away, all this kind of simpler and boring activities. i know a far larger and firmer world beyond the constrain i was set in this eccentric city of northeastern China i grew 19 years just to overcome it to see through all China territory and beyond the Pacific ocean. i know God let me stand firmly on my own feet, after pains and endurance of empty brain and tastelessness.

Its a sunny day, even sometimes flow over some clouds.last night it drizzled, after the bright sunset of yesterday. I felt surely i was baptized when i got up earlier and launched to setup auto posting on some sites of mine, after one of my account reported compromised.China surveillance capture my web traffic with a spying eye on my web confidential not for moments, but for years without break.i trust my words to God, just likes my mission here in the barren and scurry land since the fell of Ming Dynasty, whose Emperor bred me and my Royal of China again in progress.

this moment i saw the still green and yellow leaves of trees outside of my office. a even brighter future for China in my view. i belongs to God, my dad, and lives long, manly and energetic as the Son, source of saviour for livings on the earth. China lives, and only lives in God's bless, no other way to save itself. and a more cohesive world lives in love, brotherhood, and most of all, faith in God one.